Here it is: Throw all doping controls out the window. Anything that doesn’t kill you (immediately) is allowed. EPO, testosterone, human growth hormone, amphetamines, and many more. Finally, there will be no question about who’s on the stuff and on the clear.
On the flip side, there will be a league for cyclists who aren’t on anything. In fact, they’ll be forced to live like an average american. They’ll need to eat cheetos, or maybe the league will be sponsored by the Lance snack company. It will be in their contract that half their calories have to come from Lance snacks. The other half from soft drinks and beer. To top it all off, this league will be followed by a TV crew filming a reality series. Each week someone will be kicked off by a judging panel, made up of Lance Armstrong, Lance Bass, and David Hasselhoff.